30 Lessons I’ve Learned by 30

Navigating that pre-birthday impending doom

As I sit here, reflecting on my 30th birthday, I'm engulfed in a bittersweet symphony of emotions. Turning 30 isn't just about celebrating another year of life; it's about crossing a threshold that society often marks with grand expectations and personal aspirations. There's a unique sense of sadness and deep reflection that often accompanies such significant milestone. It's a period where we pause and ponder the intricate tapestry of our lives - the joys, the sorrows, the achieved, and the yet-to-be. This introspection can be overwhelming, stirring up a cocktail of feelings, from pride in our accomplishments, yearning for what's yet to come or even questioning if we are doing “enough”.

 You live and you learn?

In this blog post, I am not just sharing nuggets of wisdom but also unveiling the layers of learning that have been bestowed upon me over the last couple of years. I’ve always been one to search for the deeper meaning in my experiences. Reflecting on the lessons that come with the good and bad has always helped to provide me with some perspective as I embraced the uncertainty that comes with the future. As a mental health clinician, my journey has been enriched by both my personal experiences and the shared stories of those I've had the honor of guiding. These lessons are a blend of professional insight and personal evolution. They are for anyone who finds themselves at a crossroads, for those who celebrate their big birthdays with a mix of joy and trepidation, and for anyone who seeks a companion in the journey of self-reflection.

 30 Lessons

1. Worrying is only a false illusion of control. Realize that worrying excessively doesn't prevent bad things from happening; it only prevents you from enjoying the good.

2. Things usually work themselves out. More often than not, what we fret about resolves in ways we couldn't have planned better ourselves.

3. Enforcing boundaries actually protects your relationships. It may feel uncomfortable, but setting clear boundaries is a sign of respect for yourself and others.

4. When "everything" feels like its going wrong, this is a sign to take a step back. Often, a broader perspective can reveal that things aren't as dire as they seem.

5. Listen to your intuition & don't force it. Your inner voice is a powerful guide. Trust it, and don't try to rationalize it away.

6. Be mindful of who you take advice from. Not all advice is good advice. Consider the source and their understanding of your unique situation.

7. Pick your battles and protect your energy. Being right isn't as important as being at peace. Choose where to invest your energy wisely.

8. Find your tribe and thrive. You don't need everyone to like you, just a few who truly understand and support you.

9. Hobbies are important. They provide a much-needed outlet for stress and an opportunity to express yourself creatively.

10. Being kind to yourself is a powerful motivator. Self-compassion can be just as effective as self-criticism in driving you forward.

11. Enjoy the present, despite the gaps in your ideal life. Don't let the pursuit of perfection rob you of the joy found in the now.

12. Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities. Mistakes are not failures, but stepping stones to mastery and understanding.

13. Get curious about your emotions. Understanding why you feel a certain way is the first step in managing your emotions effectively.

14. Acknowledge and mourn your lost opportunities if needed. It's okay to grieve, but don't let it overshadow the potential of your present and future.

15. Everyone is doing their best. Recognize that everyone has their struggles and is trying to navigate them as best as they can.

16. Life's too short for unfulfilling situations. If something no longer serves your growth or happiness, it's okay to move on.

17. Knowing when to work harder or quit is crucial. Both persistence and knowing when to let go are important for success and well-being.

18. There's no shame in quitting or changing your mind. Life is about exploration and finding your path, which sometimes means changing course.

19. Avoid becoming complacent. Continual growth and challenge are key to a fulfilling life.

20. Avoid 'hating from the sidelines.' Criticizing others' success or happiness only detracts from your own.

21. Do it scared. Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the decision to move forward despite it.

22. Practice curiosity over judgment. Approach situations and people with an open mind rather than preconceived notions.

23. Be present. Embrace the moment you're in, as it's the only one guaranteed.

24. Take up space. You have every right to voice your opinions and make your presence known.

25. Decenter yourself from others' stories. Not everything is about you, and that's okay. It allows for deeper understanding and empathy.

26. Let go of perfectionism. Accepting things as they are, imperfections and all, leads to greater peace and happiness.

27. Forgiveness doesn't have a one-size-fits-all. Find a way to forgive that feels authentic and healing for you.

28. Relationships change, and that's okay. Growth often means evolving relationships, and sometimes, growing closer or even apart.

29. Don’t overextend your stay. Recognize when it's time for the next chapter, in jobs, relationships, or life phases.

30. Life is a beautiful, complex journey. Embrace its twists and turns, knowing that each step is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery

These lessons, each a stepping stone in my path, have not only shaped who I am but also how I view the world around me. I hope they resonate with you, offering comfort, guidance, or perhaps a new perspective as you navigate your own life's journey.

Do these lessons resonate?

But the conversation doesn't end here. I believe that wisdom grows when shared and discussed. So, I invite you to reflect and engage:

• Which of these 30 lessons speaks to you the most, and why?

• Are there any lessons you've learned in your life that mirror or differ from these?

• How do you approach significant life milestones, and what have they taught you?

Your insights and stories are invaluable. Let's continue this dialogue and enrich our understanding of this complex, beautiful journey called life.